steroids...

Since that dwarf gave me the ability to take steroids I may as well write about it, no? Here goes

day 1. 

It's funny because I am the one taking steroids yet everyone else seems to be grumpy. Douglas asked if he could call me C-Rod but I told him I prefer C-ambi or Canada M. (arkmcqwire) Fox because I dislike hispanic people. This may or may not have something to do with a wedding I went to over the weekend where I was the only person in attendance without an understanding of the spanish language. 

I watched a few episodes of Eastbound and Down and predicted what was going to happen, naturally, because I am on steroids and so is the main character on that show. I took some drowsy cough medicine but steroids helped me stay awake. 

number of weights lifted: 1

number of home runs hit: 0

day 2. 

While defecating I decided to punch myself in the leg as hard as I fucking could. Three punches later and I felt nothing but greatness. Steroids are awesome. 

number of weights lifted: 4

number of home runs hit: 8