dating...

Whilst out with a few current and former co-workers the other night, discussion was turned to a friend and business associate of ours. A coworker (for the sake of discussion, let's call him Stavros) asked a former coworker (let's call her Buttercup!!!!!) if she and this associate (umm, Hambone?) were still in touch. She mentioned that Hambone would contact her whenever he was coming to town to hang out with his girlfriend so even when he was in town she (Buttercup!!!!!) would never see him (Hambone). A new theory came up speculating this man was actually trying to court our fair female friend*. We figured whenever Buttercup!!!!! called him and he was "having dinner" with his "girlfriend" he was actually eating with a life sized Buttercup!!!!! cardboard cut-out. Obviously Hambone was sitting there putting food through a hole he cut in the mouth and then all the food would pile up onto the restaurant chair because he would do this in public and also because of gravity. 

*fat **

** no, just kidding jumbo ***

*** what?

Friday Morning Hineside Money Maker

If you bet Houston +1 last night, you must be so happy. That game was never close. If you have a chance, and can lay money on last nights game...totally take Houston +1. NBA action is FANtastic.

LOLlipops

I love lollipops. I always have. They are like a candy corn dog. A treat you commit to eating, but can back out on at any time.

But lately they been hard to enjoy. Now when I see them I can't stop laughing. I call them laugh-out-loud-lipops. I didn't think it would be a problem but laughing at a bank causes problem.

WHERE THE FUCK AM I GOING TO GET MY COUPONS?

There is a huge ground-swell of anger sweeping the blogosphere today. Valassis is no longer inserting ready-made trash (i.e. "coupons") into newspapers? This really has my feathers in a bunch! I would encourage you to write your local state representative and let them know that this country was founded on junk mail.

http://industry.bnet.com/advertising/1000921/valassis-angers-blogger-moms-by-yanking-redplum-coupons-from-newspapers/

Actually, I don't like coupons. I don't think I've ever used one. I don't like cat and mouse games at checkout...I like to see a price and then buy it. Period. But the point here is when someone fucks with the blogosphere...blogandmain is coming at you with a firery burning passion to back up the blogging bloggers. WWBD?

origins...

Once while glancing over the craigslist "casual encounters" section, I came across a post entitled "blow for blow" in which someone was trying to solicit sexual favors in exchange for illegal drugs he apparently had. I found this humorous, mostly because this gentleman (and I use the term loosely) combined the creepiness of a random drug dealer that would actually expect a random person on the street to buy drugs from him as well as that of a man more than willing to put a picture of his erect penis on an extremely popular website. I think it may be easier seeing an erection on craisglist than it is seeing one in my own pants but that's another story altogether. I then tried to convince my friend in Michigan that if she ever decided to take drugs, an easy way to find them for little cost would be to meet up with one of these people. She assured me there would be no posts like that on her local craigslist page and I wagered that there would be. The 4th listing on the Detroit "casual encounters" page at the time was entitled "Want to join the mile HIGH club?". Naturally, I felt I had won the wager but upon reading it I learned that small aircrafts have autopilot and rich guys with planes are fucking weird. 

people are stupid...

and when I say "people" I don't mean myself because look at these fucking "jokes" I "wrote". One of my "friends" was talking to me on Martin Luther King day. She said "my MLK day sucks" so I asked her if she got assassinated. Another person was telling me that she was watching The Butterfly Effect. She mentioned being scared of some pedophile character in that movie and I asked her why she was scared of pedophiles because she's an adult. If cats were people they'd be stupid too because one of them broke a glass here yesterday. 

Paris Hilton

I'm going to have sex with Paris Hilton. And yes, I'm going to video tape it. But here's the thing, I don't want it to be leaked as a sex tape or sex scandal. I want it to be released as a "make-love" tape scandal. Please comment with tips to make the papparazzi...my-parrazzi.