Look, I miss Michael Jackson as much as any kid misses his blanky when it's gone. (I mean, as much as any kid misses his blanky that he or she repeatedly has sex with in between awkward public appearances and denials on 60 minutes.) But seriously, how disturbed must Michael have been to insist on having white kids? More surprisingly, how rich do you have to be have the surgery done where your sperm color chromosomes are altered from black to white? Unreal. I mean that has to cost at least $50K a job right? And what if you get an urge in a public restroom to relieve your sexual anxiety? $50K in a generic kleenex flush - that's what happens. And what is this procedure called? Liponegroplasty? Arianaugmentation? Honkimplants? What happens to Mike Jr when he brings out 5 inches of Billy Jean to some P.Y.T. on prom night, only to discover pops embarrassed the man in the mirror by not knowing if he was black or white? The only good news to come out of this death is the kids FINALLY got to see Staples Center at the memorial today since Lakers playoff basketball, WWE Monday Night Raw, and Brittany Spears Circus were all sold out there earlier this month. Today's tribute was an appropriate end to a versatile pigmented entertainer in perhaps the most versatile of venues.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Remembering the most shocking death ever to follow a successful suicide attempt
Look, I miss Michael Jackson as much as any kid misses his blanky when it's gone. (I mean, as much as any kid misses his blanky that he or she repeatedly has sex with in between awkward public appearances and denials on 60 minutes.) But seriously, how disturbed must Michael have been to insist on having white kids? More surprisingly, how rich do you have to be have the surgery done where your sperm color chromosomes are altered from black to white? Unreal. I mean that has to cost at least $50K a job right? And what if you get an urge in a public restroom to relieve your sexual anxiety? $50K in a generic kleenex flush - that's what happens. And what is this procedure called? Liponegroplasty? Arianaugmentation? Honkimplants? What happens to Mike Jr when he brings out 5 inches of Billy Jean to some P.Y.T. on prom night, only to discover pops embarrassed the man in the mirror by not knowing if he was black or white? The only good news to come out of this death is the kids FINALLY got to see Staples Center at the memorial today since Lakers playoff basketball, WWE Monday Night Raw, and Brittany Spears Circus were all sold out there earlier this month. Today's tribute was an appropriate end to a versatile pigmented entertainer in perhaps the most versatile of venues.
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