Saturday, May 16, 2009

Sugarless Jesus

If there are two things I hate in this world, they are both bad breath.  The amount of things that go in my mouth that don't smell good is almost nauseating to think about.  [insert homo-erotic joke here]. 

Did you ever wonder why ALTOIDS are "curiously strong"?  It's because they are made by the Willy Wonka of Hell...the nefarious necco wafer himself...freaking Beelzebub.  Fun fact:  Altoids is actually hebrew for "fork-tongued oral scent demon".  (fucking heebs have a word for everything!)

I been working hard on getting good seats in the afterlife, so imagine my utter glee when I found out Testamints is now on the market to play yin to the Altoids evil yang.  Each piece of gum is wrapped in a verse of scripture!  Check them out at www.testamints.net.  I actually found a wrapper for these at the casino.  (wha?)

I bet Mary Magdalene had a pocket full of these babys.  Freakin slut.

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