Genesis: English Progressive Rock or First Five Books of the Torah?

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Let me just start out with a standard disclaimer:  I like black people.  Some of my best black friends are black people.  In fact, aside from the inability to be judged on who you are versus what you look like, I would kill to be black.

On second thought, I think I just hate white people.  White people use to be creative.  White people invented bad ass crap like wheels, fire, even KFC.  Shit, even 8 of the apostles were white.  And come to think of it, I think that is where this white races' collective creativity came to a screeching halt.  

You have to name 12 apostles and you use JAMES fucking twice?  Jesus fucking Christ, you are making up the god damn book and you can't even come up with some original names?

This is where black people have the white people licked now.  We use to lean on the fact that two separate names would make everyone unique, maybe you would need a third, or middle name, to tell two people apart.  Not any more though.  F that.  Every name is unique.

Take the University of Georgia backfield for example.  Let's look at their once proud football team and JUST SPECIFICALLY their running backs.  Last year they graduated someone named KNOWSHON (pronounced: NO shawn) and then bring in someone named Washaun (pronounced: WAY shawn).  NO WAY!  They even missed out on a recruit named Storm Johnson...which sounds generic as shit and then all of a sudden you are like "that's a freaking bad ass name!"  For comparison sake, a school like William And Mary graduated 13 "Mike"s from the football squad.  (editors note:  by "graduate", I mean Knowshon completed 15 credit hours and then signed a 23 million dollar deal with the Denver Broncos.)

So here is the challenge whitey.  Blog and Main will GIVE $1,000 (in store credit to our yet to be created B&M Store) to any white couple that names their kid Sussudio.  Think about it?  Phil Collins totally gave you less creative white people a jumping off point and I don't think anyone has used it.  You better hurry before Brangelina picks up some Pretorian orphan preemie and your kid spends the rest of their lives listening to Sussudio Pitt go on and on about how unoriginal "Aden" is.