Last week, while at my place of business, I got into an argument of sorts with a telemarketer. Recently, all the telemarketers that call us are "calling on behalf of the yellow pages" to "update their free business listing" and "annoy the god fucking shit out of me personally". Whenever you try and stop them they tell you that your workplace is already subscribing to their services. I recently tried stopping one of these fools. The conversation went something like this.
Him - "Hello sir, this is ______ calling on behalf of the yellow pages!"
me - "Can you please take us off your list?"
Him - "But sir, you are already subscribing to our services!"
me - "Can you please take us off your list?"
Him - "Sir, [he said a bunch of stuff here but I wasn't listening, just saying "Can you please take us off your list?" at least three times]"
me - "Can you please take us off your list?"
Him - "Could I please speak to the owner or manager please?"
me - "Can you please take us off your list?"
Him - "Could I please speak to the owner or manager please?"
me - "Can you please take us off your list?"
Him - "Could I please speak to the owner or manager please?"
me - "Can you please take us off your list?"
Him - "Sir, you are just saying the same thing over and over again*. Could I please speak to the owner or manager?"
me - "Can you PLEASE take us off your list?"
Him - "Fine... I will put you on the 'Do not call list'. Have a good day."
*Normally I'd probably call him out for saying the say thing as well but I wasn't about to break character. Now, I realize he's not the real asshole in the situation, nor am I. The real asshole here is the fucker that owns the company this poor bastard works for. I've decided that in the future it will be my new goal to get these people to hang up but without me being rude to them. The only obvious way to do this is to tell them jokes until they realize you aren't even close to a responsible human being and stop talking to you. He's a transcript of today's battle with one.
him - "Hello sir, this is David calling from (I forget but it was some company on behalf of the yellow pages)."
me - "David, I have a proposal for you"
him - "Okay sir..."
me - "If I can make you laugh will you promise to never call here again?"
him - "Sir, I will put you on the do not call list right now. Have a good day."
So what's going on here? I ask politely to be taken off the list and it takes me ten times to successfully do so then when I'm not trying they think I'm a psychotic clown and want nothing to do with me? Do they have that little faith in a stranger's sense of humor? I was just trying to brighten his day and still failed. Next time there will be no formalities, I'm coming out swinging with my best joke (it's about fish) followed by my second best joke (also about fish).
One day, when the magic of Mr Clean's Magic Eraser hits the common man, there will be no more graffiti. But until then, graffiti is the only true mirror of society. And thank god for that. How can art be so perfectly insane but also insanely perfect? This reminds me of the portrait of the virgin Mary in my grandmothers house where the eyes follow you no matter where you look at it from. It's creepy as shit, downright evil, and you wanna look away...but it is soooo good.
