Nine Eleven

My nephew is only 6 years old, so today before he went to school I had to explain to him the signifigance of this day. You see, 9/11 is a day where we all look back and reflect on our favorite 9/11 jokes.

Why were all the brokers at Goldman Sachs fired? Because they were told to get pepperoni for their last meeting and all they got was plane.

AdenHEART

ANAHEIM, Calif. -- Los Angeles Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart and two others were killed by a suspected drunk driver Thursday, a shocking end to the life of a rookie who had overcome major elbow surgery to realize his big league dreams.

There are few things in life sadder than someone going before their time.  One such thing that is sadder though is when you die early and you play for the Angels. The next few days will be incredibly difficult for the Adenhart family, but mainly because of the asinine attempts to make Adenhart an emanation of a supreme divine being...an angel if you will.  Think of how many sports writers, talk show hosts and eulogists will adhere to the coincidence like a gay disco sponsored by Zima.  When NASCAR legend Dick Trickle had a bladder infection, that was just funny.  But Adenhart is plain sad.

RIP NA.

March Sadness

In sports, if you tie, they say it is like kissing your sister.  Well then watching UNC win anything must be like a gang bang with your mother, aunt and grandmas (both sides of the family) with grandpa standing in the background taunting you for a weak performance.

Seriously, could one school any more readily embody everything that is wrong with college sports?  You have a collection of McDonald's All-American's that forgo a chance to play for a school that has anything to do with their heritage in exchange for less playtime, being surrounded by studs that will cover for your heartless and gutless performances, make you wear baby blue, and shove North Carolina bull shit down your throat until you wake up with Antawn Jamison's mom tattooed on your back.

So congrats to Missouri, Pennsylvania, Maryland, New York, and California...the respective homes of the UNC starting five (Hansbrough, Elllington, Lawson, Green and Thompson)!  And congrats to UNC for exposing your state as a fraud.  I can't wait to see if the magical Roy Williams can "rebuild" again while only recruiting five of the top ten heartless players in the world!  What a joke.  The only good news that came from tonight is that the Michigan roads are icy and slippery and UNC is traveling by bus.  

Good luck sucking in the NBA jezebels.

Who let the dogs in...

Before our time on this planet, humans did things that today seem absolutely asinine. For example, during the days of the Incas, if someone had a migraine headache a doctor would drill a hole in their head to let the demons out. In ancient Rome, before the days of Roto-Rooter, the poor would sit at the floor seats of the Colosseum so that at breaks, when everyone would piss off the side of the structure, those less well off got...well...shit on. And if you ever had to fake attention during a history class you know that the people in Salem, MA were always paranoid of witches (and losing high school football to Marblehead). So I often wonder what people 1000 or more years from now will point out as the most bizarre thing us crazy 2009ers did.

And I think it is simple - dogs.

Think about it for a second. Animals in the house.

Why is this ok? I really don't get it. At what point did it become ok to hold an animal, let it lick your face, rub its fresh feces stained nostrils on yours, and all the while you laugh and use baby voices to coax it out of shitting or pissing more on the floor? I'm not a germ freak. Or an animal hater. I'm really fine with animals doing their thing on their time and in their place.

But why dogs? Why is it understood that some animals you shouldn't have in your house, but dogs are fine? SPCA would have you believe that it is because they are domesitcated creatures. Well last time we held living creatures to do things that weren't natural we called it slavery, and it didn't end well.

Your place in history?, your call.

Alternika

If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. So the B&M design team took a stab at an alternate swastika. An "alternika" if you will.

Swasti-wha?

As an amateur typographer, logoligist and world historian specializing in the 1930s to the mid-40s, I'm often asked, "Angry Isabella, what is the most disappointing part of World War II to you?"

Well, the answer may surprise you, but my common response is grounded in the unfortunate decision of the Nazi Makerting Department (NMD) to utilize the "crooked cross" (aka "swastika") as their logo of choice. It is a clear and unfortunate misappropriation of a geometrically brilliant emblem. Forget the fact that the design is often misclassified as a hateful symbol, in its hay-day the SANSKRIT (as the kids called it) was used to symbolize good luck. While I think we can all agree that the jews may or may not have been the enemy and destroyer of the purity of blood (and on and on and on), we can all also agree that this symetrical symbol would be more revered today for its beauty than even the recycling triangular arrows if not for this unfortunate decision of the NMD.

In todays marketing rich environment, the "crooked-cross" naturally lends itself to semi-productive groups like 4-H, or Bell Helicopter. With Hindu roots meaning 'evolution', it's not difficult to imagine the listless Steve Jobs adopting the "hook cross" to replace the outdated "apple silhouette" (iSwastika anyone?) Minor league baseball would have a field day (get it?) with this logo once known as a "thundercross". [Does Swampscott have a team?]

What really gets my goat though is that the striking beauty of the sun wheel is in no way reflective of the Nazi ideals. It would be as if Greenpeace chose the Whammy from Press Your Luck for their uniform lapels...it just doesn't make sense. Perhaps before the main roll-out of the fresh angled swastika in the late 1930s, the NMD could have had a retreat to discuss other options...a concentration camp if you will.

But alas, what makes this period in our history most troubling, (aside from the 100 million deaths) is the fact that the ol' Allied powers couldn't come up with anything. No logo. No color scheme. No witty slogan. Even Wingdings had enough creatvie juices to churn out 3 font types. Damn you Shepard Fairey being born too late.