While writing an email I started drooling unknowingly. Later, a girl six years younger and several inches shorter than I asked who would win if we got in a fist fight. I told her I would. She said she couldn't believe that I would hit a younger and much smaller girl. I told her she forgot she was talking to a goddamn goon on steroids. I no longer refer to them as "home runs", they are now known to me exclusively as "dingers".
number of weights lighted: 31
number of dingers hit: 22
